


together (or apart)

by ohjonghyun



Series: together (or apart) [1]
Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, brief mentions of various p101 boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 19:45:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11320377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjonghyun/pseuds/ohjonghyun
Summary: jonghyun and minhyun have always had each other by their sides, but now they have to find ways to deal with being apart.





	1. together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s the night before the final episode of produce 101 and jonghyun can’t stop worrying. thankfully, minhyun’s by his side.

it’s late into the night, yet the boys are still practising non-stop, hoping to perfect their moves and notes before the live broadcast. their limbs don’t feel like they’re theirs anymore, but they can’t afford to stop, not now, not when time is slipping through their fingers, not when their futures are at stake. every minute, every second counts now.

 

they finish another rehearsal and jonghyun calls for a ten-minute break. he knows that the kids are beyond exhausted – he is, too. he hurriedly gulps down big mouthfuls of water and monitors their rehearsal through an ipad.

 

“guanlin, your moves need to be a little bit sharper here. put more power into your arm movements and try to move a little quicker – you’re lagging behind the beat and it’ll be obvious when you’re being shot by the camera tomorrow. seonho, you too. dongho, your voice sounds a little strained, maybe you should take it a little easy for now.” jonghyun comments after scrutinising the recording.

 

he’d always been a bit of a perfectionist, especially when it came to performances. while he knows that the boys are underperforming because they’re tired, he’s also reminded of the fact that it’s going to be their last performance together and he wants them to be the best they can be. all of them have the potential to debut at this point and he doesn’t want to take chances. he doesn’t want them to feel regret and disappointment, or like they could have done better.

 

“regardless, good job everyone! i know it’s difficult, but we can do this. i believe in you guys and regardless of the results or what’s going to happen tomorrow, i really want us to create a legendary stage together. i want us to go out there knowing that we tried our hardest and that we’re one team.”

 

jonghyun pauses. everyone’s attention is on him and his eyes sweep across all of them. every single one of these boys came here to achieve their dreams and they’re so close to the finish line now. he’s not sure what more there is to say – deep down, he knows that there are some in this room that aren’t going to make it. this is a competition, after all, and competitions are no place for mercy.

 

“i want us all to make it, kids, and we can. i know we can,” he says as he clenches his fist, raising it up in the air.

 

“thank you jonghyun-hyung, you really are the best leader any group could ask for. we wouldn’t have gotten here without you, never forget that. we love you, hyung!” daehwi, who’s standing next to jonghyun, wraps his arms around the older boy’s waist and gives him a tight hug. jonghyun’s eyes crinkle as he smiles and gives daehwi a pat on his back.

 

the other boys chime in to express their gratitude to their leader, who was always kind and patient, who always worked hard regardless of what position he was in or how many lines he was given, who was always a pillar of strength and source of encouragement when they felt like giving up.

 

jonghyun feels his cheeks heating up a bit and laughs it off, ruffling his hand through his hair.

 

“ah, stop it, you guys! let’s get back to practice – maybe an hour more or so, and we’ll stop for the day. you’re going to need as much rest as you can get tonight.”

 

he stretches his arm out and hands pile on top of his. there are unspoken words and a quiet strength in the air – they’re not going to give up now. they aren’t going to stop.

 

“we’re super hot!”

 

**·**

it’s almost half past three, but jonghyun’s not sleepy. his body’s aching and screaming for some well-deserved rest, but his mind can’t stop whirring with thoughts.

 

he leans over the railing on the rooftop of their dorm building and looks down, eyes unfocused.

 

_what if i don’t make it tomorrow? what if minhyun, dongho or minki don’t make it? what will happen to us then? will we be over?_

the pressure and worry weigh down on his heart and suddenly, his throat tightens and he feels like he can’t breathe.

 

8 years ago, he left gangwon-do in search for an opportunity to realise his dreams and 5 years ago, he thought he succeeded. he had thought that when he debuted with nu’est in 2012, that they were going to make it.

 

joining produce 101 was their last resort. there was a lot of hesitation at the beginning – they were afraid of the backlash and negative comments, that they would be considered a _failure_ again if none of them managed to enter the top 11 or if their skills weren’t able to match up to trainees who hadn’t had a debut before.

 

they were more afraid, however, of losing what they had.

 

being in nu’est was more than just a job to him. his four members were his brothers and he would never give up on family. he thinks back to all the times they shared, happy or sad, to the times where they felt success was so near yet so far, and all the times he felt that he’d failed them.

 

he doesn’t want to fail them again. he can’t.

 

he’s so deep in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the muted footsteps creeping up behind him. a hand slips around his waist and a head rests on his left shoulder. he jumps at the sudden contact, then, he hears a familiar voice.

 

“whoa, sorry, jonghyun-ah. did i scare you?”

 

it’s minhyun, and jonghyun lets go of the breath he didn’t realise he was holding.

 

“hey, you. what are you doing not sleeping? are you guys done with rehearsals?” jonghyun asks, shrugging minhyun’s head off from his shoulder and turning to face the taller boy.

 

“i’d like to ask you the same. you shouldn’t be here, it’s 3:30. you should be in bed, resting. you need it,” minhyun sighs, worry splashed across his features.  

 

“i’m fine, i’m not tired. i just… i just can’t stop thinking. i’m worried, minhyun. i’m afraid. what if we don’t get anywhere? what if any of us end up alone?”

 

jonghyun’s voice quivers and he looks away, unable to maintain eye contact with minhyun’s dark brown eyes. he hasn’t had many chances to reveal the thoughts he’d hidden deep inside him. he’s always had to be the strong one for his members, for his teammates, for his fans – he didn’t want to let anyone down and he wasn’t willing to show his weak side to gain pity.

 

but right now, all he wants to do is to pour his heart out to minhyun. what he has with minhyun is different from what he has with the other members - they'd been together for a while now, after minhyun had confessed on his birthday a few years ago. jonghyun would trust minhyun with his life and he’s sure minhyun would do the same for him.

 

“hey. look at me. we’re going to be okay, regardless of who gets into the top 11. we’ve talked about this, haven’t we? out of the four of us, you have the greatest chance of making it in and you can do this, jonghyun-ah. i believe in you. i always have.”

 

minhyun’s voice is in a low whisper and softly, he lays a hand on jonghyun’s cheek. he wistfully thumbs the dark circles under the smaller boy’s eyes and jonghyun gently shuts his eyes, leaning into the touch. it’s been a while since they had spent time quietly together like this and he missed it, deep inside his bones.

 

“you’re exhausted, don’t lie to me, you know it doesn’t work. what will be, will be, jonghyun-ah, and worrying’s not going to change any of that. i’ll be with you, by your side, all the way till the end, i promise.” minhyun’s heart twinges at how worn out jonghyun looks. being on the show was stressing all of them out – it affected jonghyun the most and he hated that he couldn’t do much to help the older boy. he’s anxious too, but he doesn’t want to make jonghyun worry further.

 

minhyun pulls jonghyun into him and jonghyun buries his face into the nape of minhyun’s neck. they quietly share a hug, their hearts fading into a steady beat.

 

lacing his fingers through jonghyun’s, minhyun leads him down the steps and into jonghyun’s dorm room. they’re afraid of startling the others who are sound asleep and take careful steps to jonghyun’s bed.

 

minhyun pushes jonghyun lightly onto his bed and pulls the sheets over him.

 

“sleep, jonghyun-ah. everything’s going to be fine. sweet dreams and i love you, please always remember that,” minhyun whispers, sweeping jonghyun’s bangs to the side.

 

jonghyun doesn’t say a word, but reaches his hand out from under the covers to grab a startled minhyun’s wrist.

 

“stay with me?” jonghyun’s eyes shine like stars even in the dark and minhyun thinks he’s never seen anything or anyone more beautiful than the boy before him.

 

quietly, minhyun crawls into the covers and they snuggle into each other’s embrace.  

 

“i love you, too. i hope you know that,” jonghyun mumbles as sleep gets to him and his eyes get bleary.

 

minhyun feels like a warm summer breeze, so warm and gentle, jonghyun thinks. minhyun feels like home and all that he needs.

 

as jonghyun falls into a deep slumber, minhyun presses a light kiss to his forehead.

 

“we’re going to make it, jonghyun-ah.”

 

we will. together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this the night before the final episode and to be honest, i'm still not over the end result but i'm trying to heal and i hope the pieces in this series do that for you too. it would mean a lot to me if you let me know how you felt reading this! also, feel free to yell at me @ohjonghyunnie on twitter about nu'est/2hyun/p101 in general :>


	2. stars in the night sky (and in your eyes)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jonghyun reminds minhyun that they'll always be under the same sky, and that regardless of the distance between them, they'll never be apart.

a series of vibrations from his phone jolts jonghyun from unrestful sleep. he cracks open an eye and wonders who it would be. after all, it’s two in the morning. the texts are from minhyun and worry surges through jonghyun's veins as the grogginess from his mind clears. did something happen to minhyun during practice? did he hurt himself? was he sick? he hurriedly taps on one of the notifications and scans through the texts quickly.

our minhyunnie (2:03:37): i miss you jr-ah :-( how's everyone coping?

our minhyunnie (2:03:56): i'm sorry i can't be there :-( i wish i were.

our minhyunnie (2:04:45): have you been eating and sleeping well? i'm worried about you. i mean, i'm worried about everyone else too, but you know that you're always on my mind.

our minhyunnie (2:07:22): ...i know i shouldn't be doing this but i'm just not used to not having you by my side.

our minhyunnie (2:13:01): you're probably sleeping anyway, so i'll get back to practice now - i hope you're dreaming of dreams as beautiful as you are. i'll see you tomorrow for practice, anyway. i love you, kim jonghyun.

jonghyun's fingers hover over the messages as he struggles over whether he should respond, as he doesn’t know if he’d be distracting minhyun from practice. he understands that minhyun had frustration pent up inside him and he needed an avenue to relieve that stress. focusing on practice would help him to forget about the pain for a while, even if it was only temporary. 

he can hear minhyun's voice, imagine minhyun's expressions as he reads the texts and his heart softens while thinking of minhyun. he’s aching to talk to minhyun - it'd only been about a week since minhyun had moved out of their dorm, yet somehow it felt like it had been months instead.

he misses minhyun too. he misses having the taller boy fussing over him, making him pause his game so he'd eat proper meals. he misses having minhyun as a distraction from toxic thoughts, as a shoulder to lean on when he didn't want to feel strong anymore, as his light when he felt like he was lost in the dark.

wrapping himself tighter in the black and white checkered shirt that minhyun left behind, he takes a deep breath. the shirt smelt faintly of fresh, clean linen and its owner. 

knowing that jonghyun was usually shy to express his feelings, it was minhyun who often took the first step in their relationship – he was the one who first confessed, the one to initiate dates, the one who held jonghyun’s hand and gave him hugs (the best, warmest ones). 

but this time, jonghyun wants to take the first step. he hates that minhyun feels like they’re drifting apart. he knows that minhyun still feels guilt for leaving them behind, for leaving him behind when it was never his fault. fate had played a trick on them and there was nothing they could do but accept the cruel outcome. 

ruffling his fingers through his hair nervously, he lightly taps on minhyun’s number and listens to the dial tone. he’s not sure if minhyun will pick up – the taller boy did say that he was returning to practice. 

suddenly, the ringing stops. jonghyun hears a breathy “yeoboseyo?” and he feels his heart stop for a second. this is what love feels like, he thinks, to finally hear the voice he’s been dreaming about. 

“hello? jonghyun-ah, is that you?” jonghyun hears the background noise fade to silence as minhyun moves to a quiet corner. 

jonghyun loses the words he had at the tip of his tongue – all the words he had to say and all the words he didn’t have to say. 

“jonghyun-ah? is everything okay? say something, you’re making me worry,” minhyun speaks quickly and breathlessly. 

“i- i’m okay,” jonghyun stumbles over his words, heart beating furiously. he doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, but a gush of warmth floods him as he hears the concern in minhyun’s voice. 

“you sure? why aren’t you asleep? talk to me, please,” minhyun fretfully asks and jonghyun clears his throat to rid his nerves. 

“i am, minhyun-ah. your texts woke me up, that’s all. how’s practice going? you must have had a lot of fun filming those commercials these few days, our superstar minhyun,” jonghyun quips. 

chuckling, minhyun apologises for the stream of texts. 

“practice is going smoothly – i… i just missed you too much. it’s not the same without you by my side. i keep turning to look for you, for dongho or minki or aron-hyung but i can’t find you, and then it occurs to me that we’re apart. i need to get used to this, but for now, it feels odd. we used to see each other almost all the time, so much so that i thought we’d be sick of one another by now, but i miss you. i miss your voice, i miss disturbing you while you game, i miss having you to hold at night.” he sighs. 

“shh, i miss you too, silly. we’ve talked about this, right? we agreed that this was for the best, and yes, it’s difficult, but we’ve been through worse and look at where we are now, minhyun-ah. just, please, believe in me one last time. we’ll make it happen this time.” jonghyun says softly, but with conviction. 

“and to answer your questions, everyone’s alright. it hasn’t been easy these few days but we’ll be fine. i’ve been eating and sleeping fine, and no, i haven’t been gaming or reading manga 24/7, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he adds. 

an idea flickers in his head and jonghyun asks minhyun if he’s standing near a window. 

“yeah, i’m right next to one. why?” minhyun questions. he’s not sure what jonghyun’s thinking about. the sky is pitch-black and there are hardly any stars to be seen (at least, not like the ones he sees in jonghyun’s eyes). 

“look at the sky. that’s the sky that both you and i are looking at right now. you feel so near, yet so far, minhyun-ah. regardless of what happens, we’ll be under the same sky, dreaming the same dream. regardless of where you are, you’ll always have us by your side, deep in your heart. we’re going to be okay, love, and we’ll wait for you to come home. we’ll just… treat this as a long-distance relationship,” jonghyun teases, trying to lighten the mood of their conversation. he, too, looks up at the sky, thinking of how wide it is, about the distance between them, and this time, he doesn’t feel afraid anymore. 

“who are you and what have you done with my jonghyun?” minhyun retorts jokingly, as his anxiety slowly dissipates. his heart finally feels a little more at ease, knowing that the only thing they have apart is time and nothing else. 

a light pink tinges jonghyun’s cheeks as he tries to make a witty remark, but stutters and fails. 

“y-yah, i saw that photo of you making kissy faces at the camera. if you make any more, we’re over, hwang minhyun! i’m going back to sleep, and you should get back to practice. i’ll see you tomorrow for rehearsals, good night,” jonghyun hangs up hurriedly, unable to keep the grin off his face. 

as he snuggles under the covers, his phone buzzes again. he’s sure that it’s minhyun and reads the text message before he drifts off into slumber. 

our minhyunnie (2:36:08): (voice message) i'll give you a star from the night sky, because you love me, because you are precious to me. i want to shout that if it’s not you, it won’t do – just stay by my side, don’t leave me.*

our minhyunnie (2:36:42): sweet dreams and i love you, please always remember that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *: lyrics are from the song 'stars in the night sky', which jonghyun briefly sang in one of their vapp episodes! 
> 
> i felt like writing something, but i haven't found the time and energy to write part two (what happened during and after the final broadcast) so here's something i wrote thinking about today, since they're going to be doing concert rehearsals tomorrow. and yes, i used a line from part one haha. as always, please leave comments to let me know your thoughts - it would mean a lot to me. feel free to hmu @ohjonghyunnie on twitter to talk about nu'est/2hyun/p101! thank you for reading ♡


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